When I was first introduced to alcohol, I was introduced to binge drinking. Drinking so much that I was drunk. Boozing was about the binging because to drink without getting drunk was pointless. The end game was annihilation. The drinking was the means to the end. Messy? Demonstrably. Blacked out? Probably. Schwasted? Undeniably.
People on Sober Curious groups who are toying with sobreity often ask about moderation. They don’t want to give it up foreeeevvvvvver. They want to imagine a life where the can control their drinking and not return into the state of binge drinking that got them down before.
Eating is cheating.
Gutter drunk.
Home is where the wine is.
Friday night, fight night.
You look like I need another drink.
Love you lots like tequila shots.
Better to be safe than sober.
Liquid lunch.
Living a life of such excessive drinking led me to be excessive in other arenas. If I binged on booze, I would, at the end of the night, also binge on kebabs. Binging on booze in my twenties meant chain smoking Marlboro Lights. Binging on booze in my thirties lead to smoking a joint and ending up clinging to cold tile floors to stop the world from spinning as I had a ‘whitey’ (‘cross-fade’ for you Americans). Excess leads to excess.
But quelle surprise. I like excess. I love to over-order in restaurants to make sure I’ve tried everything good on the menu. I work to excess, putting in hours of work at night to make sure I was beyond well-prepared for the next day. I shop to excess, even if it’s thrift stores, I always go too far. I talk to excess, vocalizing waaaay too many thoughts. I love to excess, sometimes to needy extremes.
In the absence of excess, am I therefore left with deficiency? A void? Is there now a hole that I used to fill with booze? And if so, what do I fill my cup with? How do I feel whole again?
The answer lies in what I call multipliers. I fill my void with things that seem to multiply my bounty of riches and my sense of wellbeing. They fill the void left behind by booze because they are greater than the sum of the parts. The things I am adding to my life now go so much further than the alcohol that I have removed from my life. They multiply like little wellness gremlins… spreading through my body and my mind and helping me feel whole, a more true and authentic version of myself.
Multipliers:
Drinking tea multiplies into hydrated skin, regular bowels (tmi), hydrated insides and a feeling of zen. The pure art of sipping the hot drink steadies my breath and gives me time to be still. The teas I choose are infused with ginseng or echinacea, ginger or licorice, helping to boost my immune system, destress, help with digestion and nausea.
Doing my morning meditation multiplies into a sense of calm, a clearer mind and, importantly, willpower in the bank. I set aside ten minutes every morning to listen to my affirmations and remind myself that a life without alcohol is easy and my ultimate priority. I pair this with other important personal affirmations which act as huge multipliers. I credit this ritual for keeping me sober in the simple act of keeping my mission front of mind. But also helping me become other improved versions of myself; a warmer and kinder mother and a more caring co-worker as I repeat my personal affirmations on the daily.
My morning meditation multiplies even further as I add twenty full body push ups to the end of my session. This year I am also adding twenty kettle bell squats to the routine, multiplying the mental wellbeing into physical strength.
Not drinking alcohol in the evenings, at parties, dinners out, get-togethers, movie nights and any other events has a huge multiplier related to getting to bed and waking hangover free. One of my favourite perks of being alcohol-free is no longer passing out after a night of drinking without taking my make-up off and even more critically brushing my teeth. I can confidently confirm that I have brushed, flossed and mouthwashed every single night for the past 441 nights (# of days alcohol-free). What an accomplishment! And as for waking hangover free. This is HUGE. The lack of fatigue, upset stomach, anxiety, Fear, throbbing headache and memory loss that generally accompany a hangover for me is the ultimate game changer and is quite frankly enough to keep me alcohol-free foreeeevvvvvver.
Here, I’ll share one of the greatest multipliers. A wellbeing drink that doubles as a mocktail and is a fantastic alcohol replacement in many scenarios. Drinking an ice cold kombucha can help you get through what used to be a drinking occasion and help you have a great night while keeping you fresh for teeth-brushing later on and a hangover free tomorrow. Bu raw kombucha was founded by a biochemist surfer (!) and their Smooth Brew™ method packs over 2 billion probiotics into their kombuchas… how’s that for a multiplier?! The lavender botanical infusion featured here uses ‘green tea to calm the storm that is your brain‘. Handcrafted with organic lavender petals, this beauty is bound to be your new NA favourite.
Ingredients:
- the Bu Raw Kombucha, Lavender
- Grab your fanciest glasses, ideally flutes for the fizz
Instructions:
- Chill the Bu until very cold
- Pour as you would champagne
- Drink whilst still cold
wow– what a great post. I am on day one (again) and reading about how to fill the void of alcohol is one of my many worries. But your post makes me realize what lovely, self-caring things await me. I needed that today. I heard your story on a podcast and enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for sharing and giving insight.