mother

Drinking to make friends (oh dear)

But as a Mum, it was rare opportunities to socialize outside of the home that would catch me out. The old phrase “she doesn’t get out much” rang true for me, as I had turned inwards to my little family and our tiny house in San Diego. However, when there was a work event with a handy dandy open bar, or a grown-up birthday party at a friends house with lashings of red wine, that’s when I would get in trouble. I would be super excited to let off steam. Dying to let loose with my work pals. What’s more, I was keen to get uninhibited with my adult friends here in San Diego, with the hope of cracking through to the kind of friendship I was used to from my London days. Friendship built on adventures and misadventures, being asked by bartenders to “keep it down” due to the loud guffawing laughter of our group. I wanted my Mom or work friends and I to get that drunk so we could connect deeper. Deeper = oh dearer. I would often end up waaaaaay too drunk. Drunk enough to threaten the seniority of my stature at work. Or drunk enough to be off-putting to fellow Moms. And in the case of the grown-up birthday parties, sometimes my kids would be there to witness me getting Drunksie McDrunkerson. And that is NOT a good look.

Pushed (or tripped) into sobriety

In fact, the moment that put the nail into my drinking coffin was marked by my kids witnessing me drunk. Thankfully, it was a positive and celebratory tale that ended in a minor mishap and yet my daughter’s words gave me enough pause to push me into sobriety. The night began very joyfully, as I wrapped up a phone call with a recruiter for a major advertising agency, agreeing to accept a new, fabulous job. The recruiter’s parting comments to me were “time for the champagne.” Well, you don’t have to tell me twice. Our kids had been invited to play over at a neighbor’s house so I dropped them off and then continued walking to our local liquor store where I purchased not one but two bottles of good quality champs. Woop. My husband and I got out the flutes and enjoyed a couple of hours of kid-free celebrating. Music, laughter, chatter, excitement about my new job…

When it was time to get the kids, I headed to our neighbor’s house wearing some snuggly bed socks and my husband’s size 13 Birkenstock sandals. Why was I wearing this ridiculous attire? Well, because it was just across the little cul-de-sac and I was drunk on champagne. I flipped and flopped over there and was greeted by kids and my neighbor who had a friend over to visit. They themselves were enjoying a bottle of red wine and when they heard my news, grabbed an extra glass and an extra seat. I stayed there for another 2 glasses of wine before heading back home with my littles. My two kids and I happily waved goodbye and walked across the road to our house. I, however, was still wearing the slipper socks and size 13 Birkenstock’s and I tripped and scrapped my knee. When we got home, my eldest put a bandaid on my knee and I brushed their teeth and put them to bed. (My hubby hubs was passed out on the sofa after all the champagne. See what a match made in heaven we are!) The next day, hubs asked me why I had a bandaid on my knee and my daughter loudly and kinda proudly proclaimed that she had put the bandaid on Mummy’s knee because Mummy was drunk. 😱

To hear my daughter describe me as DRUNK was quite the eye-opener. She went on to admit that she doesn’t like it when Mummy is drunk because I don’t listen to her. I asked her if she would like it if I didn’t drink anymore and she said “YES”.

And that, as they say, was that.

Thankfully, I was a third of a ways through Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like a Woman when all this happened. This was the clarifying moment that I needed. That was 448 days ago.

Sober Mummy = Better Mummy

Since quitting alcohol, I have become a much more centered and present mother for my children and I hope my daughter will agree that I am a better listener now that I am alcohol free. With my daily meditation that I carry out ritualistically every morning, I not only include affirmations about living alcohol-free, but also about becoming a warmer, kinder mother. I am committed to becoming a stronger version of myself in every possible way but my sobriety and my mothering take the priority. I use my morning ritual to affirm this commitment every single day.

The Mother of all Non-Alcoholic Beers

Drink this delightfully refreshing brew and live your best alcohol-free life. Stay furiously sober!